Broken Façade
by Sinnii
Summary: Currently under construction.
1. Chapter 1

And here I am again! Sadly, it is not an update to Onward to Ruin, but for those of you reading it, I will get back to it in the near future. You just get this as a little treat while you wait.

The idea for this story was actually from a dream I had earlier this week, and when I told it to Skiba, she thought it would make an interesting fic. I honestly have no idea where I'm going to go with this; I just really had a need to write it because the idea is so fascinating to me. Currently I have a second part to this story, and a couple of other parts I want to explore, but aside from that, I have no idea. **If any of you who read this and enjoy it have an idea you'd like to pitch, I will be quite grateful**, and as always I appreciate any and all reviews.

Now for the important stuff:

**Pairing: Sephiroth/Zack**

**Rating: T for now, it may go to M later**

**Warning: Language, slash, possible sex**

**Don't own... still.**

Well enough of Sinnii's rambling. Let's get to it!**  
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><p>Zack had had a strange feeling about the assignment the moment they received it. He and Sephiroth had been ordered to inspect the Sector six reactor after reports came in of intruders lurking within it. More than likely it had been AVALANCHE, and while Zack wasn't very familiar with them, Sephiroth had been sent on several missions before dealing with suppressing the terrorist group, so he knew well what the mission more than likely entailed.<p>

The youth had not questioned the mission, it seemed pretty straightforward: head to the reactor, look around, and if anyone's there that shouldn't be, deal with them. They were to take a few fellow operatives with them along with some from the army to provide backup and make sure no intruders escaped, and the mission would likely be done in little time… at least, that's what they'd been told. Still, Zack had not been able to shake the odd feeling that something was off, that something would go wrong.

At times like these, he would usually confide in Sephiroth; even when they'd just begun to be in regular contact—Zack called them friends, Sephiroth had not been so ready to use such a term—Zack had the feeling that he could talk to the man, even if he seemed like he wasn't listening. Once the two became lovers, Zack told him almost everything; he'd told him of his fears, his more embarrassing passions, his family, all in the effort of showing trust, and it was not long before Sephiroth began to do the same. This time however—for a reason he could not place—Zack kept his concerns to himself.

The mission seemed to be going smoothly; the two Firsts and their men had been deployed to the reactor, and the exploration of the reactor seemed to be going well and upon careful investigation of its interior, no one had been found. Finding the reactor clear of intruders had put Zack's mind at ease… but only for a while.

He and Sephiroth, being the strongest of their group, ventured into the mako reactor's core where AVALANCHE more than likely would have set up explosives. The SOLDIER Thirds that accompanied them were positioned in the outer areas of the reactor, close to all plausible exit routes. If members of the group were hiding out in other areas where they would be missed—though highly unlikely given Sephiroth's incredible sense of awareness—the Thirds would be able to intercept their escape. In the highly unlikely event that any members managed to get passed the SOLDIERs, the army was positioned around the perimeter.

As they made their way into the center, the two Firsts carefully searched out all areas they passed through. The unease Zack had felt gradually diminished as they went further and found the reactor devoid of human activity. Upon reaching the core, they found no one, not even a single indication that anyone had been there, and Zack almost sighed in relief.

When they were almost ready to declare the reactor clear, he noticed Sephiroth hesitate. The man suddenly seemed on edge about something, which usually meant something was indeed wrong. Zack's own worry came back full swing, but he did his best to keep it at bay, not wanting to add to Sephiroth's tension. No had been around, and Zack placed his hand on Sephiroth's arm in a comforting gesture; he had done so to calm both of them really.

He knew no one had breached the outer lines, otherwise they would have been notified. Whatever had the silver haired man tensed was close by. He could feel the muscles under his palm tightening and could see the apprehension radiating off of the man. Something was _not_ right.

Slowly, the stronger First approached the core's valve as if something had caught his eye, and Zack stayed back a bit, knowing he was not needed at the moment. He didn't have the slightest idea of what the man saw, all he knew was that in an instant Sephiroth was moving, and his own body jolted.

Everything from that moment on was a blur of light and noise and pain; his vision went white, his ears rang, and he could feel heat lick at his skin. The air was knocked from his lungs when he hit what he assumed was the ground and a large weight landed on his front. His mind instantly went to Sephiroth, and he tried to yell for him, but his voice failed him. His sight became a swirl of monochrome color, and all he could think about was the other SOLDIER and the sudden need to move, to run, before everything smashed together in a panic. Zack wasn't even aware of the choked, overwhelmed scream that tore from his lips just as everything faded to black.

o0o

Zack wasn't sure how much time had passed before he regained consciousness. His eyes slowly opened, but his vision was clouded; his ears were still ringing, and his mind was still a jumbled mess. He'd forgotten where he was for just a moment before he remembered the mission, remembered AVALANCHE, the reactor, _Sephiroth_.

_Seph!_

The fog over his mind dissipated at the thought of the man, and he instantly tried to get up, overcome with the need to find him, to make sure he was alright. His body, however, felt as if he'd gone round after round with a Dual Horn… and the Dual Horn won. Not to mention that _something_ was settled on top of him, and while it had clearly shielded him from direct impact, it was heavy. Still a bit dazed, Zack adjusted his arms under the object and pushed it off of him. He felt and heard whatever it was fall to his side—_did it just make a noise?_

He sat up quickly and his head swam for a moment, threatening to send him back down onto the ground. His hand went to his head to steady himself, and his eyes drifted to the form next to him. All he could see was a blur of black, but as his vision cleared, the colors became a single solid object… a _body_. His heart began to pound and he made a noise of distress as he looked over the familiar black leather, and he very nearly retched when his gaze settled on a bloody face.

"Oh, Gods," came a choked whisper.

Zack scrambled to his hands and knees, ignoring the way his head throbbed and his sight blurred, and struggled closer to the older man. He looked over the body below him in increasing dread and felt bile rise in his throat as he took in the damage. Nothing was unscathed; his coat was all but shredded, revealing large bloody wounds, the leather singed and charred.

_An explosion._

That explained the abruptness of it all, the loud jarring noise, the heat, the light… the sheer damage Sephiroth had sustained. Shrapnel was embedded deeply into his skin, and there wasn't hardly any patch of visible skin that wasn't covered in blood or dust and debris. He looked into the SOLIDERs face where blood flowed in small rivers from his nose and from a cut in his lip; it flowed down the side of his face from a large gash in his jaw, and stained his silver hair from an unseen wound on his head.

With shaking hands, Zack cupped the man's face, running gloved thumbs gently over his closed eyes. His heart fell when the man didn't stir, and he let a hand stray to silver hair; it was covered in dirt and debris, and Zack couldn't help but laugh in a cruel mix of humor and barely restrained panic.

"You're sure not gonna be happy when you wake up, Seph," he said, voice shaking. "Your hair's all dirty…"

He continued to assess the damage, all the while stroking the man's hair. Eyes strayed over to the man's right side, and he had to fight back an urge to vomit, unable to turn away from the horrible sight; the man's arm was _mangled_ in every sense of the word, the coat sleeve all but gone, revealing flesh that was cut, torn, bleeding, and _burnt_. He almost thought he could see bone poking out from the skin, and he finally turned away to retch. When he turned back, tears fell down his face, smearing the dirt there, and he returned to stroking the man's hair, hoping to the Gods that he was completely out and couldn't feel anything.

"Fuck, Seph, you're pretty beat up, huh?"

He pressed fingers to the side of the man's neck, searching for a pulse; it was weak, but it was there nonetheless, and relief washed over him. The youth took a shuddering breath and kissed the corner of Sephiroth's lips, cringing at the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. It made him want to vomit again, but he ignored the turning of his stomach and kept his eyes on his lover.

He watched the slow, unsteady rise and fall of the man's chest and prayed that someone would be down there soon to get them; anyone could tell that the man had lost a fair amount of blood, and his wounds needed attention. He was dying, and it scared Zack to no end to think of watching the man he loved die in a pit of rubble. Sephiroth would not want to die that way, and the younger First most certainly did not want to lose him that way, nor any other way for that matter.

Zack lost track of how long they'd been there, but he knew it had been too long. Sephiroth's breathing had become shallow, his skin—or what he could see of it—had grown deathly pale. He had repeatedly checked for the silver haired man's pulse, fearing each time that he wouldn't be able to find it, but Sephiroth had managed to hang on.

"Just don't die on me, Seph, okay," he'd keep muttering.

o0o

When SOLDIER operatives managed to get into what was left of the reactor's core, they found Zack still hunched over Sephiroth's prone form, stroking his hair and shaking. He ignored them, even when he heard a voice call for him, but he flinched when he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder.

He turned abruptly, coming face to face with a SOLDIER that he could not identify. His brain was reeling, his ears still rang, and he was losing the man that he loved. He felt his body shift as the SOLDIER shook him gently, and a familiar voice met his damaged ears.

"Zack? You alright? C'mon, man, talk to me!" It was Kunsel.

"K… Kunsel…"

The SOLDIER nodded. "Yeah, it's me," he said. "C'mon, we need to get you two out of here."

He felt Kunsel move his arm across his shoulders, and he was lifted to his feet. He watched in slight fear as he was moved away from Sephiroth, and the medical team swarmed around him. They checked his vitals and set about removing shrapnel and wrapping his wounds, but Zack couldn't help but think of how uneasy Sephiroth would be if he were conscious. The man hated it when others touched him, but to have several strangers around him touching him all at once would be a nightmare for him, even if they were only trying to save him.

As his friend led him away, Zack wanted so badly to protest; he put up the briefest struggle, but stopped himself, knowing that it would do neither him nor Sephiroth any good. The youth stopped walking when a stretcher was finally brought down, and he watched the team move the older First onto it before carefully and quickly lifting him. Kunsel tugged on him and let the Second continue to lead him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the med team pass them and couldn't shake the desire to follow them, but he quashed it knowing it would do little good when he was injured himself.

_Just don't die on me…_

Sephiroth was long gone when Zack, Kunsel, and several other operatives emerged from the destroyed reactor. He was taken in a transport with several of the other SOLDIERs and infantrymen that had accompanied him on the mission. They were to be taken back to Shinra to be seen by its medical personnel; he just hoped Sephiroth would be there too and not in the labs…

o0o

Zack was admittedly surprised at how few injuries he'd sustained in the incident. The impact of Sephiroth's body being thrown onto his so roughly had bruised a couple of his ribs, he had a minor fracture in his wrist, and while he had acquired a splitting headache, he surprisingly didn't have a concussion.

It turned out that AVLANCHE had in fact been in the reactor; what Sephiroth most likely caught sight of in the core was an explosive the terrorist group had set up. He'd shielded Zack with his body from the brunt of the impact, but Zack had still been injured enough that Shinra had placed him a temporary leave of absence. It agitated him that he would not be able to go on any missions for a while, but that feeling disappeared when he thought back to the older First; he really didn't think he could go on any more assignments while worrying about the man.

Sephiroth bore the brunt of the explosion in the effort to protect Zack, and in doing so had gravely injured himself. He found out from Kunsel that the silver haired First had not been taken to the labs, which while relieving, was also confusing. Zack knew well that nearly every aspect of Sephiroth's well being was under Hojo's jurisdiction; his development, his treatments, even his overall health was overseen by Hojo and the Science Department due to the sheer amount of enhancements done to his body. While it bothered the brunette to no end to think of the man waking up in the labs, it seemed like the place he'd likely be taken to.

Kunsel, of course, was there to elaborate on the situation—the man always seeming to know nearly anything, even if he likely shouldn't.

While SOLDIERs were physically enhanced, they still required medical attention. Mako treatments were conducted by the science department, but health matters were left to Shinra's medical team, doctors trained specifically to deal with mako enhanced individuals. Hojo, heading the science department, likely had no interest dealing with such frivolous things as sickness and injuries; Zack could almost hear the man scoff at the very prospect.

Sephiroth, however, was a different story entirely. Hojo wanted no one else to so much as touch his most prized experiment, so _all_ matters dealing with Sephiroth's health were brought to him, and only him. This didn't explain, however, why the silver haired man was being treated by the medical team and not being 'treated' in the labs.

Of course, being impusive as he was, Zack voiced this concern almost instantly, to which Kunsel, already familiar with Zack's… tendencies ignored him and continued on.

While it was not terribly uncommon for Sephiroth—as with any other SOLDIER operative—to return from a mission with injuries, they were always minor and at worst required little medical attention. Hojo was quite confident in the man's abilities, so there was really no concern that the man would ever return badly injured. As it was, the explosion had left Sephiroth nearly torn to pieces, and because there was no protocol for who would specifically manage him in such a situation, he was brought in to be seen by Shinra's doctors along with the other SOLDIERs and infantrymen that were injured in the incident.

Zack couldn't help but find humor in how angry that would make the gangly scientist, but due to a lack of protocol, he supposed there was nothing he could do in retaliation… not immediately, anyways. The information also brought him relief; it meant that Sephiroth would be genuinely taken care of; it meant that Zack would be able to _see_ him at some point, he wouldn't be left alone.

"Do you know anything about how he's doing," Zack asked his friend.

Kunsel only shook his head. "I figured you'd ask so I asked about him… didn't find anything out."

Of course Zack visibly wilted at that.

They sat in a relatively comfortable silence, Zack just happy that someone was there for a while; however, eventually Kunsel was called in for an assignment and had to leave, leaving Zack alone with his thoughts and worries.

While his injuries were not so serious, the doctors wanted him to stay overnight because of his head. As much as he didn't want to be stuck in that room, Zack complied with little complaint; however, he asked about Sephiroth every chance he got. He didn't get much out of anyone, except that the doctors were doing their best to treat him. He must have gotten on the nerves of several doctors before one finally informed him that the SOLDIER was likely going to have to go into surgery. When Zack asked why, he got no further answers and he was left to worry all the more.

o0o

Zack was "allowed" to leave the following day; and by "leave" it was more like kicked out. When he was discharged, he had refused to go anywhere until he knew more about Sephiroth's condition. When no one told him anything, he stayed where he was.

"I'm not leaving 'till I know he's okay," he'd said, and he meant it.

After a while though, one of the doctors—the one he guessed was treating the silver haired man—approached him. They must have gotten tired of him sitting around in there taking up space.

The man told Zack everything; he didn't go into detail, but told him of Sephiroth's wounds, of the burns he sustained… of his arm. He said that as they were speaking, Sephiroth was being sent into surgery where they were going to try and save his arm. While he didn't like to sound of the word "try," the optimistic side of him assured that Sephiroth would be fine. The older man always talked of how his body had been designed to handle a lot of damage, so perhaps with help from the doctors, his arm would heal up.

With their end of the deal met, Zack was finally made to leave to medical unit, and he returned to his apartment, where he continued to stress and worry. He was worried that Sephiroth may still not make it or that his injuries would leave him irreversibly damaged. Mainly, though, he worried that Hojo would manage to get his hands on the man and hide him away in the labs to do as he pleased with his weakened body. The labs was the one place Zack couldn't save Sephiroth from, though it was the one place he wished he could, but old man Shinra had given Hojo free rein over the Science Department. Whatever was within the labs belonged to him, and that included SOLDIERs are any of Shinra's infantry.

He still tried to remain optimistic and told himself that Sephiroth would be alright. He'd seen the man through some pretty bad times, and he'd always come out intact. This time, he told himself, would be no different.

o0o

Several days later found Zack much too restless, and he ventured back to Shinra's Med unit. He wanted to find out if Sephiroth's surgery had gone well and how much longer it would be before he could leave. The medical unit didn't give off the same air as the labs, but to his lover it would likely feel no different, and he would want to leave as soon as possible and recuperate in the privacy of his own apartment… hopefully with Zack there too, of course.

When he asked about him, the doctors seemed reluctant to say much of anything; however, when he asked if he could see him, he was led with no argument to a room.

"I will warn you, Mr. Fair," the doctor from last time told him. "He still has not regained consciousness, and his injuries are… extensive."

He didn't really care if Sephiroth was awake or not. He'd wait as long as he had to, just so long as he could be there for him. When he was allowed into the room, he was at the silver haired man's side in an instant, looking him over. Even without the dirt on his skin, he still didn't look much better.

What he could see of the older man's body was wrapped in guaze, visible skin littered with scars from small cuts that had easily healed. He looked up into the man's face and was relieved to see not a single crease in his brow. Zack reached out and brushed fingers through his bangs and was glad to see that the blood and debris had been cleaned from his hair, but he inwardly pitied the poor soul that had been stuck with the task. He let his hand stray to the left side of his face where a large bandage lay over the large cut he knew to be there. He hoped that it wouldn't leave a permanent scar; Sephiroth would likely be self conscious of such a mark marring his face where he couldn't easily hide it.

He slowly moved to the man's right side—mainly so he could have a clear view of the door—and took in the rest of his wounds. The brunt of the explosion had hit this side, and predictably, his right side was covered in healing burns and various other wounds. The more serious burns had been bandaged, and he followed a trail of less severe ones from his shoulder, up passed his neck and jaw, and up further to just below his ear. He grimaced at that, another injury that Sephiroth would not be able to easily hide… especially if scars remained.

Zack continued to look him over, occasionally glancing up to see the doctor still there, probably in case he had any questions. He paused to watch the steady rise and fall of Sephiroth's chest, and by chance his eyes strayed to the man's right arm, which he knew had been pretty badly injured.

His heart suddenly wrenched in his chest and he choked.

_Oh no. Oh, _Gods_, no._

It was _gone_!

Instantly, he looked up to see the doctor approach—he must have seen Zack's reaction—and stared at him with wide eyes, tears running anew from his face. The man looked away and sighed.

"The damage to his arm was extensive," he began. "Most of it was severely burned to the point that even if it healed it would likely never be usable. Then there was the extensive damage to the bone, the nerves, and the muscle."

Zack listened silently, but his eyes had strayed back down to Sephiroth's calm face. Gods, when he woke up…

"We had intended to first examine the limb to see any possible routes we could take to save it… but there was just too much damage," the doctor continued. "It would have required a massive amount of reconstructive surgery, and even then there would have been no guarantees that it would be useable without causing him pain."

He took a shuddering breath and nodded, still focused on Sephiroth's face.

"How long until he can leave?" he asked.

"We still need to keep an eye on the burns, several of the more serious ones are still vulnerable to infection, and we'd like to avoid that if we can," he answered. "After that, he can go whenever he wakes up, if he hasn't already."

Zack nodded. There wasn't much else he could do with Sephiroth unconscious, but he knew that if the man woke up before the doctors were ready to let him go, things would become a bit more difficult. He'd seen his lover with wounds, many of them inflicted on him for the sake of Hojo's "science." A missing limb was a different problem entirely. Zack had no idea how Sephiroth would react when he finally woke and found one of his limbs gone. He was fairly sure, however, that whatever concern he'd have, it would not be about his appearance. The man was trained—practically bred—to be a warrior; he had been made, as he would have put it, to fight. He would be much more concerned with how the injury would affect his ability to see to his duties as a SOLDIER. If he were rendered unable to fight… Zack didn't want to think about it.

He finally glanced up to see that the doctor had left. His body practically dropped into the chair next to the bed and he slumped, thoughts rushing through his head, making him feel nearly dizzy with the shock of it all. His head all but dropped into his hands, and he took another shuddering breath, just sitting there waiting. He didn't know exactly what he was waiting for, for Sephiroth to wake up, for a doctor to come in and give the okay to take the man home, for that same doctor to come in and tell him to leave, he didn't know. But he waited nonetheless.

o0o

Zack made it abundantly clear that he had no intentions of leaving that room unless it was to finally take Sephiroth home. He gladly moved aside whenever doctors needed to examine the silver haired First, but other than that, he didn't go anywhere. He would not run the risk of his lover opening his eyes and being alone, so he remained at the man's side, stroking silver bangs, and waited for the older man to wake up.

o0o

It wasn't until a few more days that Sephiroth finally stirred, and Zack was right there waiting to see if those cyan eyes would finally open again.

"Seph…?"

The man's brow furrowed and he grimaced slightly in what was likely pain.

"Seph, can you hear me? Where does it hurt?"

The older First shifted just slightly, but the creases in his brown seemed to ease at the sound of Zack's voice. The brunette let his fingers linger on Sephiroth's cheek, careful not to touch the burned skin, and he waited to see if the man would wake, or if he had settled back into unconsciousness. After several tense seconds, pale lips parted.

"Zack…?" His voice was hoarse and quiet, but to Zack it was the best damn thing he'd ever heard.

"Yeah, Seph," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "It's me."

His head slowly turned towards the voice, and those eyes slowly opened, snapping closed again when they met the bright light. They reopened just a bit after a moment, glazed over and unfocused.

"Where…"

"The Med unit. You got pretty messed up, babe."

Sephiroth blinked languidly a few times, probably trying to clear his vision, when he suddenly grimaced again and let out a low groan. Zack's brow furrowed with concern.

"What's hurting you, Seph?"

The silver haired man shifted a few more times, and to Zack, it looked as if he were trying to move his arm… his right arm.

"My arm…"

Zack hesitated. "W-which one?"

Sephiroth shifted his right shoulder and Zack stomach twisted in both dread and slight confusion.

"Seph… do you remember what happened?"

He nodded. "The reactor. There was an explosive device set on the valve. I attempted to shield you from the explosion, and my right side was most open to the impact."

Well his memory was certainly intact, and despite to roughness of his voice, his speech was clear. What Zack didn't understand was why Sephiroth was complaining of pain in an arm that _wasn't even there_. He watched as his lover managed to focus on him, and tried to give him a comforting smile, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Are _you_ alright, Zack?"

Typical. The shitty state he's in and the man is more worried about someone else's well being than his own. The brunette couldn't help the slight upward tug of his lips and he leaned down to kiss the older man. His heart swelled when he felt Sephiroth slowly kiss him back, but pulled back in concern when the man made an oddly distressed noise.

"Sephy?" Worry filled his voice.

"I can't feel it…"

"Feel what?"

"My arm. Though I realize it is injured, I cannot… feel it…"

"I thought you said it hurt."

"Yes, but," Sephiroth paused, seemingly at a slight loss of how to describe whatever it was he was experiencing.

"'But?'" Zack tried to get him to continue, just as he always did whenever Sephiroth seemed to have trouble communicating something.

"I am… moving it," he tried to reason. "However, I am unable to _feel_ it moving."

Zack just became all the more confused, and the dread came back tenfold. Sephiroth hadn't realized it yet. Somehow, he thought he could feel his arm moving and didn't understand why he couldn't feel the actual motion, when in reality there was no arm there to move.

"I don't understand," he whispered to himself, but Sephiroth was certainly able to hear him.

"Zack?"

The youth swallowed a lump in his throat before trying to talk. "Seph, your arm… it's…"

His voice cracked and he found himself unable to finish. He looked to the man's face and found an expression of concern and confusion. The brunette swallowed another lump and, unable to say anything further, just motioned down to where the man's arm… would be, making a noise of distress.

Sephiroth looked down.

Zack looked away instantly, unable to bear seeing the man's face when he saw just how damaged he really was. He felt his heart begin to pound in fear and uncertainty. What would he say? What would he _do_?

"It's… gone." Sephiroth's voice was soft, almost as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"…Yeah," Zack responded, having no idea what else he could possibly say. "It is."

He stole a tentative glance at the silver haired man. His expression was unreadable, and that worried Zack more than if he'd looked distressed or even angry. The youth never liked it when he could not tell how Sephiroth was feeling; it made it so difficult to be there for him, to understand how he felt and be of help. It didn't happen often anymore, Sephiroth having grown more willing to open up and convey feelings he once kept so deeply hidden, but when it did, Zack always felt lost and hurt that he could do little to help him.

Sephiroth continued to stare at his side in complete silence. As minutes passed, Zack grew more and more desperate for something, anything to say to break that silence, to get the man's attention off of the loss, if only for a moment. Eventually, he gave up and opted for what he always did, reaching out carefully and stroking the silver bangs from his face. Nearly instantly, he noticed some of the tension leave his body and the youth could not hold back a soft smile. And then it came to him.

"Well… look on the bright side," he said tentatively. "At least you'll still be able to use Masamune."

His smile only widened when he heard the man snort.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's part two of **Broken Façade**.

Not much goes on in this part, sadly, but really this story as a whole won't be extremely intense. Still don't know where I want to go with it, so anyone who would like to pitch an idea, I'd be more than grateful.

I've started the third part, but after a fairly bad couple of days, my inspiration kind of left me, and I've been trying to get it back. I'll be working on part three along with the fifth chapter of Onward to Ruin at around the same time. Hopefully I can get them both done fairly quickly.

As always, I greatly appreciate reviews.

Now let's get to the story!

* * *

><p>It took another week and a half or so before the doctors were willing to discharge Sephiroth. Despite the enhanced healing abilities that the silver haired man possessed, his more severe burn wounds had required further attention. Zack didn't know much about burns, but what he had seen of Sephiroth's skin, his looked pretty bad. Some of his skin had needed to be surgically removed, and grafts had been applied around the time his arm was amputated. The youth had been worried about how long his lover would need to stay under the Medical unit's care; the more time he spent there, the more opportunity Hojo would likely have to get his hands on him.<p>

Sephiroth himself had been in a constant state of unease with the situation as a whole. Once he had regained consciousness, he had no desire to remain in the care of anyone else, but he was well aware of the severity of his injuries and offered no resistance. He did, however, make it very clear that he would not stay any longer than absolutely necessary and would be leaving as soon as anyone deemed him fit to do so. Zack, of course, remained with him the entire time.

His body recovered well, better than the doctors had expected; though Zack wasn't entirely surprised, given whom it was they were dealing with. Honestly, Zack would have only been moderately surprised if the man had somehow managed to regenerate his missing limb, given that Hojo was the one to design him, as Sephiroth always said.

The silver haired First had been allowed to leave once his doctor had given him the instruction for the further care of his healing burns. Of course, Zack was there with him and had been encouraged to listen as well. It was likely that Sephiroth would require assistance, and if it weren't for the fact that it was Zack, the older man would have resisted the proposition. In any case, Zack was just glad that the man could finally leave that place.

o0o

"I'm ho-oooome~," Zack said in a sing-song voice as he entered the apartment.

He noticed Sephiroth gazing at him from the couch, one eyebrow raised, and he grinned in that stupidly happy way that always seemed to make his lover snort. The older man just shook his head and sighed as Zack came and plopped down beside him, giving him a small peck on the cheek. He turned his head to kiss the brunette's lips, and the youth more than gladly let him, kissing back happily.

"How're you feeling today?" Zack asked when they parted.

"I've certainly been better."

Zack sighed. The response wasn't exactly what he'd hoped to hear, but he wasn't surprised by it either. The man was literally missing a part of himself, his healing burns more than likely hurt, and only days after finally coming home, Hojo had all but demanded to see him in the labs. No, Zack wasn't surprised at all that Sephiroth wasn't feeling the best, but hopefully he could somehow make the man feel better.

He let his hand brush gently along the older First's right side. Dressings were still sitting atop burns and most of the healed skin was discolored and scarred. He felt his heart twinge in sympathy, but he kept it well hidden; Sephiroth didn't want sympathy. The scars left behind by the shrapnel had healed quite well, and the worst ones had faded into thin lines only slightly lighter than his skin, so that was one less thing to worry about. The more minor burns had also healed very well and left nearly no sign of scarring. Zack glanced to the side of Sephiroth's face and was inwardly glad to see nearly no evidence that the area had sustained burns; the same went for the gash on his left side, which was nothing more than a thin white mark.

His eyes finally went down to the silver haired man's side, and he took in the sight he'd seen several times. It was still surreal to see his lover missing a whole limb, and he often found himself just staring at the stump where a joint had once been. This time was no different, and it took the sound of Sephiroth shifting in discomfort to make Zack finally tear his eyes from there.

"Sorry," he said softly. He knew well that staring often caused the older man to become uncomfortable, and it shamed him when he was guilty of it himself.

Sephiroth only shook his head.

"It is a strange sight, indeed."

"How does it feel?" Zack asked curiously.

The older man was silent for a moment, seeming to think of how he could put what he felt into words—not really one of his strengths.

"Strange," he answered. "I feel… off balance."

The brunette hummed in response, glancing over the damage one more time before catching the familiar sight of healing needle marks. He shuddered when he remembered that Sephiroth had visited the labs while he had been out on his mission. No doubt Hojo was injecting him full of crap to try and force his body to heal faster. Anyone could see that the silver haired man was not fit for duty as of yet. Even when faced with old man Shinra, the President had immediately put him on leave, though Zack knew the man had been reluctant to do so. Clearly, the gangly old scientist had seen it as the perfect opportunity to perform plenty of tests.

"Went to see that old fuck, I presume," Zack said, contempt dripping from his voice.

"Indeed," was his answer.

Zack let his head rest gently on the older man's shoulder… or what was left of it, a hand gently running up and down the man's spine. He sighed when he felt the other rest his head atop his own.

"You shouldn't let him do this shit to you, Seph," he muttered.

"Zack," Sephiroth sighed. "We have gone through this many times…"

"I know, I know," the youth said gently. "I'm just worried, Seph."

He always worried. Even though he knew the man could handle nearly anything the old man did to him, he'd seen the man break down. He hoped he would never see that terrifying sight again, but with Sephiroth on leave, Hojo had nothing stopping him from getting the man anytime he wanted.

Zack inwardly shook his head, not wanting to think about it anymore. He nuzzled affectionately at the other's neck and felt just the slightest shift of Sephiroth's body then a sigh of dismay. Lifting up his head, the youth looked to the other in concern.

"Seph?"

"I… I can no longer hold you."

The brunette paused at that. He'd tried to wrap his arm around him.

Ever since Sephiroth had been discharged, Zack had noticed similar occurrences. The man had been ambidextrous before the incident, quite a few of his habits involving the use of his right hand. In fact, Sephiroth had assigned certain tasks to each hand, compulsively doing certain things using only his right hand and doing others using his left. However, the youth had not realized just how strict the older man was with these habits, until he saw him attempt to brush his hair, first trying to use his now nonexistent right hand—which was the hand assigned to that task—then trying to use his left hand, which caused him to take much longer than normal. The same thing occurred throughout the day each time the man encountered a daily task requiring his right or both hands.

At first, there was little Zack could do. Sephiroth tended to be quite proud, and refused to ask for help in what he perceived as such simple tasks, so Zack simply did as he knew the man wanted and sat back allowing him to adjust his habits.

Suddenly he stood up, leaving his lover looking up at him slightly puzzled, and plopped back down on Sephiroth's left, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Sure ya can!" He smiled broadly.

It took a moment—it always did—for Sephiroth to say or do anything. He just gazed at the younger man, who continued to smile at him, before sighing fondly and wrapping his arm around the other's waist. Zack just made a happy noise and pressed closer to him, letting a hand stray along his collar bone. They sat that way in content silence, Zack exploring with his fingertips and Sephiroth absently brushing along his side, before Zack spoke up again.

"So… not that I don't absolutely _love_ seeing you shirtless," he began, "but what's up with the no-shirt…-ness?"

He looked up to the other curiously and noticed that Sephiroth had his face turned away. The brunette tilted his head and made a questioning noise.

"I did try," Sephiroth said after a pause. "However, it proved to be… difficult."

Zack's first response to that statement was to let out a loud bark of a laugh. The idea of Sephiroth not even being able to put on a shirt was so ridiculous that it was laughable. However, when he felt those muscles tense against him, he felt instantly guilty and remembered that while it was a ridiculous thought, so was the idea of Sephiroth losing a limb…

He brought his arms back around the older man's neck and hugged him, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

"Sorry, babe."

"It's alright, Zack," Sephiroth said. "It is quite absurd."

"That doesn't matter," Zack said. "You were hurt. Badly. There isn't anything funny about that."

The silver haired man said nothing else, and Zack went quiet as well for a moment.

"Would you… maybe like some help?" He knew he was pushing it. It was ludicrous to ask Sephiroth if he needed help _putting on a shirt_, and there was almost no way that the man would agree to it; however, Zack was one to take chances, and it was worth a shot.

Sephiroth said nothing, and he brought his fingers back up to stroke over silver hair.

"C'mon, Sephy," he began tentatively. "It's me, and you know I'll never judge you for something like this."

He punctuated his statement with another kiss to the other man's cheek.

"I mean, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I thought badly of you for something someone else did to you?"

He'd said those same words to him once before when Sephiroth had finally opened up about what was often done to him in the labs. The older First was usually not one to concern himself with the opinions of others. He lived for his duties to SOLDIER and Shinra, and what others thought of him had no bearing on his job. However, Zack seemed to be an exception to this, and he had not wanted to face rejection when the other learned of what was done to him.

After a few moments, Sephiroth shook his head.

"I know you will not judge me, Zack," he said. "But such a matter is one I can address on my own."

Zack visibly wilted, but he wasn't at all surprised. He wasn't offended, though, or even hurt; it was just Sephiroth being himself, and Zack was just fine with that.

"Well okay." He kissed him yet again, and stood up from the couch. "Well, I should shower. Then I can bitch to you about how boring my mission was!"

Sephiroth snorted. "Very well Zack. I wait with bated breath."

Zack smiled as he headed to the bathroom. The sarcasm was always a good sign; it was humor, and Sephiroth being humorous was always a good sign.

o0o

Waking up before Sephiroth didn't happen often. Usually, the man was up at the crack of dawn, preparing for his day of paperwork, meetings, paperwork, meetings, and did he mention the paperwork? However, one very endearing quirk about the silver haired First was that he slept like the dead on days when there was little or no work to be done. Zack especially enjoyed those mornings because he loved waking up to the warm body pressed against his and those strong arms wrapped around him.

Now, things were different.

Zack woke up curled against Sephiroth's left side, the man's arm wrapped securely around his waist, his own arm draped over the older man's stomach. Absently, he began to run his fingers up and down the other's torso. He traced his collar bone, down over his pectorals, and down along his abdominal muscles; he loved touching the older man and had declared it several times. Luckily, the man's body had essentially grown accustomed to the soft touches, and he no longer flinched and woke whenever he felt them. Zack was glad for this, thoroughly enjoying having the chance to spend so much time to openly admire someone he saw as perfect.

Only… he was not so perfect now.

His hand slowly strayed closer to Sephiroth's other side; he tended to avoid touching there having heard that burn scarred skin was often sensitive and easily irritated. Zack didn't want to end up causing him any pain when he was still trying to recover, not to mention some of the burns were still not fully healed. Even though they no longer required dressing, they still needed to be cleaned carefully and contact had to be kept to a minimum. On top of all of that, Zack knew that Sephiroth was still not comfortable with the fact that he was an amputee. Touching those scars would draw Sephiroth to focus on them and ultimately to his lack of a limb, and the brunette didn't want him to dwell on it too much, fearing what the consequences might be.

Slowly, Zack sat up, propping himself on an arm, and looked down at the other. He took in his face, sleep smoothing out the tension that was always present on his brow during the day. He loved watching Sephiroth sleep, loved how peaceful he looked; it was one of only two ways the youth could ever see the man's face completely devoid of any strain, the other being after he experienced the throes of orgasm—Zack's personal favorite, he might add.

He reached up and brushed silver bangs from the pale face before bringing his focus to the man's scarred side. Unable to help himself, he let his fingers glide as gently as possible over the marred skin, pausing at the shiver that passed through Sephiroth's body. The flesh there felt so strange, a striking contrast to the smoothness of the rest of his body. He carefully felt along the scars left behind by the skin grafts, and shuddered at the memory of how utterly painful they had looked when first placed over Sephiroth's open wounds.

He was just glad all of that was done with, knowing it must have been much more difficult for the silver haired man to endure.

Slowly, he traveled up to what had once been the joint connecting Sephiroth's arm to his torso. It was so strange to see, but even stranger to the touch, and the scar tissue just looked painful. He tried to avoid looking there when Sephiroth was awake and aware, and he'd certainly never attempted to even so much as brush the skin. He moved from that spot quickly, knowing the flesh there was still healing, but his eyes still lingered while his hand went to rest at his hip.

He was lost in thought until he felt Sephiroth shift, and his attention turned to the man's face. He smiled when cyan eyes opened, but it faltered a bit when he saw the tension on his brow.

"Mornin', gorgeous," he said, hoping to diffuse the situation.

A soft hum was his only answer.

"Oh c'mon, use words. There's nothing I like hearing better in the morning than your voice."

As always, the man snorted, but that pointed stare remained, and Zack rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"I guess you could… tell… huh?"

"Indeed," Sephiroth answered. "However, I cannot understand why you would want to even lay eyes on these scars."

Zack looked him in the face.

"They don't make you any less beautiful, Seph," he assured. "It's just…"

Sephiroth just tilted his head, waiting for him to continue. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to say, knowing that he'd have to choose his words carefully.

"As ugly as you may think they are," he began, deciding he may as well be frank about it, "they're a part of you, and you know how much I love to look at and touch you."

"Yet you tend to avoid them during the day."

Zack just rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Seph," he said. "I know they make you uncomfortable, so why would I continuously draw your attention to them by touching them when you're awake?"

The older man said nothing, and Zack just lied back down beside him, moving his hand to rest on the other man's chest. He felt a bit of relief when Sephiroth brought his arm back around his waist and pulled him closer; it meant that he wasn't going to withdraw, and in response, Zack leaned up and kissed his jaw, happy when Sephiroth turned and kissed his forehead. They lied together in a comfortable silence, stroking fingers along each other's skin.

"I wasn't… hurting you, at all, was I?" Zack asked after a few moments.

He felt Sephiroth shake his head, and he looked up at him.

"Really, Seph. If it hurts when I touch them, you need to tell me."

"I assure you, Zack, I felt no pain. They're just… oddly sensitive," Sephiroth assured.

"Oh. Alright." He laid his head back down on the older man's shoulder. "Well if they ever hurt, or you don't want me to touch, just say so, okay?"

"I will, Zack."

"Good."

o0o

Being on leave for a SOLDIER didn't always mean a break from work, especially if you were Sephiroth. Typically, leave simply entailed a break from missions, and in Sephiroth's position, his job involved a lot more than just going out and slashing a few monsters. He still had his office work, which, in Shinra's opinion, he was more than able to do.

For a while, the First's work was sent to his apartment by an office assistant while his wounds healed; however, eventually it came time for him to return to his office, to return to being the face of SOLDIER. This made Zack a bit nervous for the man. He knew how much Sephiroth hated being stared at, and he got enough looks back when he looked normal; he didn't want to think of all the looks the older man would be getting upon his return to work. However, whatever worries the youth had in this case, he kept to himself. Zack knew that Sephiroth was likely uneasy enough for the same exact reason and he didn't want to add to his lover's stress.

He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Sephiroth stood before his wardrobe. The brunette could just imagine the look of reluctance on the man's face as he carefully removed his uniform from the closet and placed it neatly on the bed. Zack looked down at the coat and pauldrons in a bit of bemusement; the man essentially had no right shoulder, so there was no way he could wear both shoulder guards as he almost always did. Not only that, but there would be a sleeve just hanging uselessly at his side, making that man's handicap all the more obvious.

"Maybe you could just have the sleeve taken off the uniform?"

He felt Sephiroth come closer and looked up him, clad in his underwear, as he looked down at the uniform once again.

"Do you want some help?" he asked and was met with only silence.

He rubbed at the back of his head. He really wanted to remain in the room with the other, enjoying the sight of him dressing and undressing, but maybe Sephiroth wouldn't want him to see him this time, didn't want to see him potentially struggle.

"I can wait in the living room if you want…"

To that Sephiroth only shook his head. "I see no reason why you should leave while I dress when you have seen me do so many times."

"Well, I mean," Zack began, "Things are a bit… different now. I'd understand if you didn't want me to see you… uhm—"

"Struggle."

Zack swallowed, not sure how to approach this.

"Well if you want to put it that way," he said. "I mean, you're missing an arm, Seph. It's understandable that you may have a bit of a hard time with some things. And even though you know I won't judge you, if it would make you more comfortable for me to not see, then…"

He tapered off with a shrug, and Sephiroth just sighed audibly, shaking his head.

"Your presence here feels no different to me. You do not need to leave the room if you do not want to," he said and began to dress.

Zack smiled.

As Zack had figured, it took a little bit longer for the man to dress, but despite several fumbles, he made no indication of frustration. He decided to forego the harness and pauldrons, seeing no real use for them on this occasion, and in doing so made his task much easier. He seemed to get everything on just fine, but when it came to all the small buckles on his coat and belts he seemed to have a bit more trouble.

The brunette was more than happy to help him if he asked, and while the older man was a bit proud, he did seem to need Zack's assistance when he had to put on his belts. The youth barely managed to hold back a smile when Sephiroth asked for his assistance, and he nodded before wordlessly setting about his tasks, letting his fingers brush against the man's skin at every opportunity. The buckles of the man's coat did not require Zack's help; however they still took a little extra time.

When finally dressed, Zack couldn't help but look him over. Aside from the empty right sleeve, the coat fit just as it used to, and he couldn't help but nod in satisfaction. However, his smile faltered and his brow furrowed in concern when he saw Sephiroth shift a bit in discomfort.

"You okay?"

The silver haired man made a noise and shifted again and Zack came to a realization. The leather must have been grazing his scars; no doubt after several hours it would likely become painful. The youth made a thoughtful noise.

"We may need to get you some shirts to wear," he said, pointing at the older man's right side, "at least 'til your side has had more time to heal."

Sephiroth only sighed.

"I'll be fine."

"Well I know that, Seph, but you don't need to have that leather irritating you if we can do something about it."

The man only sighed again, this time in acquiescence, and retrieved Masamune from its place over his dresser. Zack shook his head; he took that sword with him nearly everywhere, especially when he was in uniform despite being quite proficient in hand-to-hand combat. Although, given the circumstances, Zack wasn't entirely sure just how well the man would be able to fight hand-to-hand with only one hand to use.

He decided to forget the habitual question of bringing the large sword and just stood, following Sephiroth as he strode out of the bedroom.

o0o

As Zack had predicted, there was no person they passed that didn't immediately stop and stare at the dubbed SOLDIER General. Granted, most people tended to stare at the man as it was; however, now their eyes stayed trained on the empty right sleeve of his coat and the visible scars on his torso. He inwardly felt bad for the older man, who must have been extremely uneasy with all of the eyes on him.

Even SOLDIER operatives themselves who passed stopped in their tracks at the sight of their superior. Most of them, though, seemed to look on in sympathy, several of them having seen the man just after he had been extricated from the reactor. However, those that worked within the Shinra building seemed to look at him in a sick fascination, some even in a smug satisfaction. Shinra's great hero, the face of SOLDIER, was broken. No longer was he the untouchable "General," he was no longer the perfect being that the youth of the world would aspire to be. He was now just a man, maimed man thrown from his pedestal far above down into the realm of the mortals.

They didn't even know how little the man thought of himself.

Seeing those looks made Zack angry. They were facing the man that had very near died for the sake of their jobs, facing the damage their aspirations had caused, and they had the nerve to look down on him, to somehow feel superior to him. The SOLDIER had already been denied a life, denied an identity of his own, Zack supposed it was time for them to take his pride from him as well.

He made a point to glare at every suit that looked their way with as much malice as he could muster, scowling with contempt at their smug faces.

It felt like forever before they made it to Sephiroth's office. By that time, he could almost see the tension pouring off of the man's form, and he was more than relieved when they entered the office and he locked the door behind him. As Sephiroth sat at his desk, Zack sat on the desk itself just off to the side and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. When cyan eyes met his, he smiled, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on his lips before hopping from the desk and plopping down in his usual spot on the plush couch.

After an hour or so of silence, Zack began to fidget, so he got up and paced as quietly as he could. After another hour he dropped back onto the couch and took a small nap. Upon waking, he sat up and resumed his awkward fidgeting, watching Sephiroth work.

"You hungry, at all?"

"No, Zack."

After that, another couple of hours were spent fidgeting, pacing, and watching. He mainly watched the other for any signs of stress, knowing quite well the tell-tale signs of the man over working himself. Although it was Sephiroth's first time back at his office, when he was working out of the apartment, his habits didn't change; he still refused to take breaks, and barely so much as paused until every assigned document was seen to. While this would very well ensure that all of his work was done, the older man was also prone to overworking himself, and then Zack usually saw the need to intervene.

After a while, Zack notice the other shift in a way very similar to back at the apartment, when Sephiroth first donned his coat.

"…Is your coat bothering you?"

"No, Zack, I am fine."

"Well… okay."

He didn't really believe the man, but after getting to know him, he knew that he wouldn't be able to get Sephiroth to admit to any discomfort.

The rest of the day went by like this. Zack alternated between napping, pacing, looking at his handset, more napping, more pacing, and sparking short conversations with his lover. As much as he loved watching the other—who he thought looked ridiculously hot when he wore his glasses—there was only so much he could get out of watching a man fill out forms and read reports.

Were it not for Sephiroth preferring silence when he worked, the youth would have been much less bored. While the silver haired man was not one to talk a lot, he could still carry on decent conversation when the right cues were given, and Zack loved talking with the man. However, the older man did _not_ like there to be anything but silence in his office space while he worked, which was a problem for Zack, who often fidgeted in place or bounced his knee when he was bored and restless.

However, Sephiroth seemed to be a bit more lenient with him; he understood that the two of them were quite different and that Zack enjoyed communication. Whenever the silence became too much and the youth needed to talk, Sephiroth was willing to have short conversations with him, but only if they were kept short so that he could still get as much work done as possible.

o0o

Their return to the apartment was much easier without all of the staring. By the time they left the First's office most of Shinra's employees had since gone home, meaning very empty hallways and much less staring. This was of course beneficial in that it meant that Sephiroth was much less tense when they made it back.

Once in the privacy of his dwelling, Sephiroth retreated immediately to his bedroom, Zack following like always. They undressed in silence, the older man not requiring the same assistance to get his clothing off that he'd needed getting them on. Zack, as always, shot brief glances as the silver haired man removed his uniform, admiring that strong, beautifully toned body as the clothes fell away. Even with the scars and the missing limb, he was no less gorgeous in Zack's eyes.

Sephiroth, of course, was well aware of his staring, but never said a word. He'd long since gotten used to feeling those curious eyes on his body, and when he was in the right mood, he'd sometimes give the younger First all the more to look at. As it was, he was not in much of a playful mood. He felt oddly drained and the leather of his coat had rubbed constantly on his scars, irritating them. He was just happy to be rid of his uniform and had to resist the urge to sigh in relief when the clothes were off. He needed a shower, a nice, hot shower.

In an instant, Zack was pressed up behind him, running hands up to his shoulders, lips brushing the back of his neck. The tension in those muscles eased just a bit, and he smiled against pale skin. Sephiroth turned his body to face the other, and they gazed at each other in silence before Zack leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. It took a moment before the taller man kissed back, but when he did their kiss deepened, and Zack's hands strayed up to tangle in soft silver tresses. Reluctantly, they pulled apart after a few moments, and Zack grinned.

"You know what we should totally do?"

"What would that be, Zack?"

"We should get in the shower," the youth said, grin widening. "I suddenly want to see you wet in addition to being naked."

Sephiroth just rolled his eyes.

"Why am I not surprised," he asked sarcastically.

Zack pressed up against him, wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck. He couldn't resist making a soft noise when the taller man pulled their bodies flush together, and he moved teasingly against him, relishing in the soft hiss that came the other's lips.

"Well you can't say you don't like seeing my fine ass the same way." He purred.

"I suppose not," Sephiroth purred back, lips curving in a small smirk.

The brunette chuckled and kissed him again before tugging at him gently.

"C'mon, then. Let's pretend we're dirty so I have an excuse to run my hands all over you."


	3. Chapter 3

Finally! This shit is COMPLETE!

I kept the word document for this part up on my toolbar forever, working on it little by little. I may have gotten it done sooner had it not been for a series of emotional breakdowns that occurred, one after the other, shortly after I submitted the last chapter of **Onward to Ruin**. My inspiration and drive were just flickering in and out repeatedly for the past while, but I think I've managed to get them both back. So last night/this morning, I finally buckled down, put on some good music, and finished this!

As always, I appreciate the reviews! And I'm still lookin' for some other ideas for what else can happen. If anybody has an idea they'd like to pitch, I am more than happy to listen!

Well, let's get to it! Enjoy, peeps!

* * *

><p>Eventually, the time came where the President needed his warrior back in commission.<p>

There had originally been debate amongst the highest executives of Shinra as to what should be done about the First. Hojo had readily proposed taking him out of SOLDIER until he could find a way to rectify the problem of his impediment. Of course Shinra had seen through him and denied the proposal without hesitation, much to the Hojo's chagrin.

Neither Heidegger nor Scarlet were able to provide any real alternatives either; both had proposed similar ideas of replacing the SOLDIER with another weapon of some sort, Heidegger with the general army and Scarlet with her machines. The problem was that there was just no real way that Sephiroth could be effectively replaced. The man was highly trained, intelligent, and could fight with the power of an army and with the precision of a machine.

There was also the crucial matter of what effect the Sephiroth's overall appearance would have on Shinra's esteem. The man was the very face of the company's greatest fighting force. He inspired youth planet-wide to join with the company and add to its already immense power. The man had fought battle after battle and never once returned with so much as a bruise; such a thing was unheard of, impossible, yet the powerful SOLDIER had done so time after time. He was living perfection.

Now, their perfect being was marred, weakened, _imperfect_. Worst, still, the damage done had left the man permanently damaged, and he would likely no longer be able to fight with the same power, grace, and precision that had made him a world renowned hero.

Still, too much time, money, and training had gone into creating Shinra's prized warrior, and there was no way that the mere loss of a limb would make it go to waste; after all, the SOLDIER still had a second, perfectly useable arm. The issue with publicity was one that could be dealt with at a later time; first Sephiroth would have to be brought back to combat ready condition, ready to fight at a moment's notice as he'd once been. They may have lost their hero, their perfect face, but President Shinra refused to lose his greatest weapon.

o0o

Upon hearing the orders that he would have to participate in rehabilitation, Sephiroth had been discontent to say the least. However, upon hearing that said rehabilitation was essentially retraining, he became very cross.

Of course he'd known that because he'd lost an arm he would have to relearn a great deal of his technique; his method with the Masamune had required the use of both of his hands, and with the loss of his right, he would have to learn how to balance and wield the large blade single handed. This alone had not bothered him. While he didn't like the idea of essentially re-teaching himself everything he had learned, it was necessary if he were to ever be combat-able again. However, _he_ would not be the one doing the teaching.

What bothered Sephiroth was the "trainer" that Shinra had assigned to him. While he'd required a trainer when he was young, it had only been necessary to teach him the very basics of swordsmanship, everything else, he had learned on his own. He'd wanted very much to protest; he had no need for someone else to teach him how to use his sword, he was perfectly able to relearn on his own. However, it was likely that Shinra had foreseen his protesting, and refused to hear any of it. He was ordered to comply.

Even Zack had questioned old man Shinra's judgment, especially when it finally came time for Sephiroth to begin his training. The man who was to be his trainer clearly knew what he was doing—Zack had hoped Shinra had sense enough to at least hire the best trainer they could find for their best warrior—but Sephiroth had no interest in what the man had to "teach" him. The silver haired man knew it all, and had practiced these techniques extensively. In his mind, all he needed was to regain his balance and condition himself to wield Masamune with a single hand. Once reconditioned, he would be able to alter his previous techniques to accommodate his needs.

However, because Sephiroth was one to always obey direct orders, he reluctantly complied… for about a week.

o0o

Zack tended to stay at the apartment whenever Sephiroth went for his training sessions. He always wanted to go just for support, but he had the sneaking suspicion that the man did not want him to see his struggle, his agitation. He usually spent the time alone just watching television, doing squats, or thinking of ways to take Sephiroth's mind off of his… situation, having become familiar with the usual mood the other would be in when he returned.

When the door finally opened revealing the tall silver haired man, Zack could already tell that the man was _pissed_. He strode into the apartment smoothly and shut the door softly, but Zack could just somehow feel the anger and frustration radiating from him despite the fact that there were no outward indications to clue him in.

He was on his feet and at the man's side in almost an instant, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder, his right shoulder. Once the burn wounds and the sutures healed, Zack would touch his side without the slightest hesitation just to show the older man that the healed wounds, the scars, his missing arm did not bother him. He gently rubbed along Sephiroth's shoulder blade, feeling the coiled muscle wound so tight and said nothing. It was likely that the trainer had stepped on his last frayed nerve.

Zack had honestly felt bad for the guy Shinra had hired—more likely coerced—to retrain Sephiroth. The SOLDIER likely knew just as much, if not more than the trainer himself, and might have felt somewhat humiliated. However, the trainer was just doing his job, and probably had no idea how to deal with someone like Sephiroth, who already knew how to fight on a level far superior than most of his fellow warriors yet was being forced to relearn everything as if he were just a novice.

Zack knew from his experiences with the older man, that he was likely not rude during the sessions; however, there was an arrogance in him that surfaced from time to time, and Sephiroth knew how to resist with subtlety.

But it seemed that the trainer had not taken a hint, or simply ignored it, and Sephiroth had finally had enough.

"You're early," Zack said softly, hand still rubbing in comforting circles.

"Indeed." There was no anger in his tone, no hitch, no clipped words, nothing. Zack could not even see the slightest emotion in those cyan eyes that were being kept downcast.

He inwardly wracked his brain for some way to ease Sephiroth's tension. He could tell by the overwhelming calm in Sephiroth's features that he was repressing it all, keeping it locked inside. Zack hated it when he did that, and he needed to find a way to either take his mind off it, or find something that would somehow let him vent his frustration.

Getting Sephiroth to take his mind off of something was difficult, but Zack knew plenty of potential ways it could be done. Typically, though, finding an outlet for him to vent his frustrations was much more effective but harder to actually do. Sephiroth's frustration and anger tended to manifest in one of two ways: violence, or passion, so the best ways to get him to vent were either through battle, or sex.

Sparring with Sephiroth was difficult. His strength made it where he had to consciously hold back to prevent injuries, but when agitated, his restraint waned. However, in the VR room, Sephiroth was mostly free to let go and fight with less reserve, but there was the risk of his going overboard and damaging the equipment; After the first occurrence in which he and his fellow Firsts damaged the room, Zack was sure Shinra would not appreciate a repeat offence.

Sex was typically what Zack fell back on when all else failed. Both benefited from it and Zack especially got the satisfaction of seeing his lover in a relaxed and content state. It was always interesting to see how Sephiroth's anger could be so easily converted into raw passion and lust especially when he could practically turn himself on and off at any time. However, since the incident, Zack had been reluctant to suggest sex at all and not because of discomfort brought on by the other's wounds. On the contrary, the injuries had not detracted from Sephiroth's looks at all in his opinion; the man could still so easily—and inadvertently—excite the brunette the same as always. Zack had honestly felt a little shame for a while at becoming aroused by the man while he was still recovering. He still felt a little guilt at considering it, feeling like he was trying to take advantage of Sephiroth's emotions.

Nearly immediately, Zack made his decision and lightly squeezed the others shoulder to get his attention.

"Let's go to the training room," he said.

At that, Sephiroth gave him a perplexed look, and he could see the question in those eyes. Zack just shook his head then nodded towards the door.

"C'mon. You're agitated, and you need to vent; I'm sure a little while of hacking and slashing fake monsters could do you some good."

The taller man looked as if he wanted to refuse. His nerves were frayed, he was frustrated with Shinra, the trainer, and most of all he was very likely frustrated with himself. He probably didn't want to spend any more time struggling with someone watching him; in fact, Zack was quite sure of that.

"This isn't training, babe," he reassured upon seeing his expression. "I'm not going to be critiquing you, hell I won't even watch if you don't want me to, but this has been eating at you for the past week, and you can't keep holding it in—"

"I would appreciate you not telling me what I can and cannot do," Sephiroth snapped.

Zack recoiled very slightly at the sharpness of his tone, mainly out of surprise; his lover did not snap often, but his voice could be as sharp as his blade when he wanted it to be. However, he was quite familiar with this side of his lover, and knew that the best way to deal with him was to simply yield.

"Okay, Seph, okay," he said, resuming lightly rubbing his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Sephiroth sighed and looked away.

"No," he said quietly. "I am sorry, Zack. I had no right to speak to you that way."

Zack just smiled and moved to kiss his jaw. Sephiroth didn't often apologize, but then again, when he flew off the handle he almost always had a reason. Gently, he turned the taller man's face toward him and pressed their lips together, and he got that familiar, blissful feeling when Sephiroth kissed back. After a moment, he pulled away and looked into a face that was just slightly calmer. He smiled.

"C'mon. It'll do some good, and if it doesn't," he paused for a moment, thinking of what he could use to bargain with the man, "…well, I can let you do whatever you want with me for a month."

He punctuated his statement with a shrug. There wasn't much he could entice Sephiroth with; as he'd always said, the man had a shit ton of money but lived like a monk; he never had many wants—hell the man believed that he no _right_ to want. Hopefully, however, letting Sephiroth decide what he wanted in exchange would encourage him to comply.

Sephiroth just sighed and shook his head, lips upturned just the slightest.

"All right, we will do things your way."

o0o

Upon reaching the Training room, Zack had since gone over every single training technique Angeal had taught him. While he couldn't be sure if he'd be a better alternative than the trainer as far as teaching went, he understood Sephiroth much more than anyone in Shinra, and he knew how to approach him. All Sephiroth really needed was help in regaining his balance and some exercise in strengthening his remaining arm.

Zack was confident he'd be able to help him—not teach him—and do so in a way Sephiroth would likely be more receptive to. He understood the man's pride, knew when to push him and how hard; most importantly, he knew when to simply back off, something very few even bothered to do.

As he entered the room, he performed his typical warm up stretches, the same as every time he trained. Zack didn't want this particular training session to come off as any different from all the previous ones he'd spent with Sephiroth, and he hoped that his lover would automatically follow suit, being the stickler for routine that he was. Glancing briefly behind him, he noticed in slight dismay that Sephiroth was not doing anything. Instead, he stood stock still near the doorway.

This was going to be much harder than he presumed.

"C'mon, Seph, you too," Zack coaxed.

Sephiroth only looked at him, and upon meeting his eyes, Zack smiled and attempted to coax him again. He had to resist an urge to sigh when all he got was a growl of warning for his efforts.

"None of that, Seph," he said. "You know the routine, and I'm right here doing it with you."

This didn't seem to help much, Sephiroth staying as he was, unmoving. Finally, Zack did sigh and slowly approached him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon, Sephiroth."

He shook his head just the slightest.

"Why not?" he asked. "It's just me, and you know I'd never judge you."

Sephiroth said nothing, but the slightest tilt of his head let Zack know that he was getting through. It wasn't that the silver-haired man didn't want to train; things were different this time. To him, he would not be the superior fighter, someone else taking that role from him. Zack was sure that the trainer had done this, treating Sephiroth as any normal trainee, and that was his biggest mistake. Sephiroth was likely no normal trainee even when he _was_ a trainee; the man certainly wasn't now. He was the greatest warrior Shinra had, likely the greatest on the planet, and that had to be taken into account if anything was to be accomplished. However, it seemed that even old man Shinra didn't realize this, and even if Sephiroth was supposed to follow his orders, there was only so much he could do to threaten the man. All Shinra had over Sephiroth was his sense of duty, and that could only go so far.

Zack squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"You can do this, Seph," he said softly. "You and I both know it."

A slow raise of his head, and Sephiroth was peering at him through silver bangs. Zack gave him a smile and a determined nod, hoping he'd finally get through to him. He got his answer when Sephiroth finally sighed in resignation and nodded himself.

Zack was able to gradually coax Sephiroth through their normal warm up routine, and to keep with him when it came to focusing on their arms, Zack would only used his left. A round of pushups came next, since he knew the other was able to do them one handed with no difficulty. After a couple hundred Zack could see that the other was fairly bored, not the best sign, but it was unavoidable. Even he wasn't thoroughly entertained every time he trained with Angeal, so there was no doubt in his mind that he wouldn't be able to keep _Sephiroth_ entertained. However, he knew the other was mature enough to understand that, so it didn't exactly worry him. They did a few more exercises just for the sake of doing them until Zack deemed the other man ready to start with their swords.

"I bet you're eager to take up your ol' girl again," Zack said grinning, hoping to lighten the mood.

The soft chuckle that came from Sephiroth's lips was proof enough that his words had done their job. When Sephiroth lifted Masamune, Zack followed suit, gripping the Buster Sword in only his right hand. He wasn't exactly familiar with the way one handled a katana, and unlike Sephiroth, he was not left-handed, but he was sure the other understood that that. They would only be practicing handling after all, and even Zack would be fairly challenged by the exercises given the size of his own sword.

It was boring, he knew, for Sephiroth, and it had taken just a little bit more coaxing to get him to play along. They went through several basic motions, establishing patterns, repeating, and then changing. Zack did this to force the silver-haired man to reestablish his balance. Each new pattern they went through, Sephiroth would stumble just the slightest; however, Zack would pretend not to notice and continue with the motions, stopping and changing once he saw that Sephiroth was able to orient himself. Even Zack stumbled a few times, the sheer weight of the Buster Sword and the imbalance brought on by only using one hand to swing it forcing him to almost constantly readjust his stance.

They did this until Zack began to see Sephiroth move with a semblance of his original confidence. His movement regained fluidity, his footing more steady, and when Zack glanced at his face, he saw it set in concentration rather than frustration. He could detect the smallest twitch of the man's eye whenever he voiced a command, but he knew that was simply the way Sephiroth was. He wasn't exactly duty-bound to follow the orders of anyone else other than Shinra's highest executives and Hojo; having another tell him what to do was likely quite grating, but he was clearly taking it in stride.

Zack had Sephiroth move to actual targets next. First, he'd work through stationary targets then he'd fight animated simulations. He chose a program creating inanimate mannequins, the targets forming a circle around the other, one for each sword motion they practiced. He'd be able to practice combinations, and the positioning of the mannequins would force him to actually move while he slashed.

This was where things began to fall apart.

It appeared to be a bit harder for Sephiroth to reestablish his balance when actually moving in and direction. After several rounds without much noticeable change, he grew frustrated and it was evident in his movements. He moved with less calculation, brought his sword down harder than needed, and his balance only suffered more.

"Don't get frustrated, Seph," Zack told him, but it only earned him a snarl from the man, to which he only sighed in slight irritation.

After another few rounds, Sephiroth showed little sign of improvement.

"Shape up, Seph, c'mon," Zack called. Sephiroth only growled in response. "I _know_ you can do this."

After another couple of rounds, there was little improvement. The man was simply unable to steady himself, his movements much too stiff. He wasn't allowing his body to justmove naturally.

"Don't over think," Zack called again. "You need to let yourself move naturally."

Upon hearing that, Sephiroth paused, and seemed to be trying to relax. Zack nodded to himself, glad to see that he appeared to be listening finally. However, Zack had no intention of letting him stop for long.

"Let's go; we're gonna keep going until this is second nature to you."

Sephiroth just paused, and slowly turned to face him. His gaze was intense, and to most it would have been intimidating. However, Zack was not fazed, and he met the gaze with an even one of his own. He was sure that Sephiroth was only acting this way out of instinct; there was little he could to intimidate Zack anymore, and he knew this.

"Keep going, Sephiroth," he ordered. A bold move, but it had to be done.

The silver-haired man only stood his ground. It was likely that he'd had almost enough, or he was simply testing Zack to see what he'd do next. There were no other men in Shinra that would follow through with giving Sephiroth an order once he blatantly refused. He couldn't be threatened by much, and no one could physically make him do anything, Zack included. While he couldn't make Sephiroth return to the program, Zack was pretty sure he knew how to make the man continue to practice. It was a gamble, but at this point it was one he was more than willing to take if it meant helping his lover.

Suddenly, Zack lunged forward, sword drawn and poised to strike. He could tell by Sephiroth's face that he had not been expecting it, but just as Zack brought the Buster Sword down, the Masamune was raised to deflect the blow. Inwardly, Zack was glad to see this; it meant that the other's reflexes were still there, and judging by the way their blades ground together, his strength had not waned either.

Quickly, he pulled back and performed a quick series of blows, all of them focused on Sephioth's now vulnerable right side. The man would have to learn to realign himself in order to make up for this new weak point, and Zack planned to all but force him into it. If he didn't want to be ordered to do anything, Zack would give him to opportunity to decide for himself what he believed he needed to do, but he wouldn't make it easy for him, that would have been a greater insult to the man.

While Sephiroth was able to deflect Zack's blows, he still had some difficulty balancing. Although his quick reflexes made up for the blunders, he was clearly not satisfied with this, judging by the irritated growls he let out every time he lost his footing. Zack, however, didn't let up.

Eventually, Sephiroth began to go on the offensive, pushing Zack back with blows of his own. While his balance was still a little off, the youth was glad that his lover was actively fighting back. Upon blocking a particularly strong blow, Zack almost trembled in excitement as the shriek of metal on metal filled his ears. The sparks from their blades illuminated Sephiroth's face, and he grinned when he saw that familiar spark behind cyan eyes.

"That's more like it," he all but purred.

Sephiroth only huffed and pulled back, bringing his sword down again. Zack moved to the side, twisting and swinging the Buster Sword only to be swiftly blocked yet again.

This same pattern occurred over and over, both of them attacking, dodging, and countering one another. Gradually though, Sephiroth began to get the upper hand as his body slowly realigned itself. Zack grinned widely as he watched that powerful body move in what was close to its former fluid grace, and that nice shiver of joy and arousal traveled up his spine.

Finally, Sephiroth used his blade and pushed Zack backward with all of his power, and the youth stumbled back several feet from the sheer force. Once he regained his footing, he positioned his blade and looked up just in time to see Sephiroth rushing at him. He brought his sword up in defense, but the blow never came. At the same time, he felt the familiar feeling of his PHS vibrating in his pocket. Glancing up at Sephiroth, he noticed the man, still halfway in his stance, looking down at his own handset in confusion.

Zack straightened, and wordlessly pulled out his PHS, flipping it open and finding that he'd been sent a mail. He just managed to open it when Sephiroth spoke up.

"The President wants to speak with… both of us."

Zack looked up and made a confused noise, then immediately looked down at his own message; it was indeed a message requesting that both he and Sephiroth report to the President's office.

"Huh," Zack said, "wonder what old man Shinra wants with little ol' me."

Looking back up at Sephiroth, he was able to note the slightest tension on his brow. While he couldn't think of a reason for why the President wanted to see _him_, the look on his lover's face was not very reassuring. He just hoped he wasn't getting reprimanded for anything.

"Well, may as well see what the Prez wants." He shrugged and placed his sword back on his back, heading towards the VR room door.

o0o

Zack had never been in the President's office, but he was sure Sephiroth had seen the place plenty of times. He couldn't help but gawk at how spacious the place was—it was practically its own floor—and how one whole wall was nothing but massive windows, no doubt providing quite a view of the city below. He didn't glance around long though; he was going to be facing the President, and he had to be attentive.

He followed Sephiroth and stood beside him before President Shinra's large desk. He stood straight, face devoid of any emotion, but inwardly his stomach fluttered in a mix of curiosity and nervousness. Zack focused on the large blond man and noticed that he had his attention completely on Sephiroth; he couldn't read the man's expression, but he had his head turned up just slightly in a gesture of superiority.

"You wished to speak with us, Mr. President?" Sephiroth asked.

Shinra leaned forward onto his desk and peered at the both of them, and Zack noticed a narrowing of his eyes when he gaze settled back on Sephiroth.

"Indeed, Sephiroth."

Both of them were silent, waiting for the man to continue.

"It has come to my attention that you have not been… cooperative with the trainer we assigned to you."

Zack glanced over at the silver-haired man and noticed that his gaze had lowered. It was likely that Sephiroth had been expecting this to happen.

"Need I remind you, Sephiroth, that you were under direct orders to partake in training in order to recondition you for combat?" Shinra asked his voice hardened.

"No, sir," Sephiroth answered.

Zack noticed a dark look come over Shinra's face, and he shuddered slightly.

"Then would you kindly explain to me why you have continuously disobeyed your trainer?" Shinra responded. "By disobeying the man who was to recondition you, you have thus failed to obey my orders; I will hear an explanation."

Sephiroth stayed silent.

After a moment, the President leaned forward further, turning his head as if her were trying to hear something.

"I am not hearing anything, Sephiroth. Shall I, then, assume that you do _not_ have an answer for me?"

Zack glanced again at Sephiroth, and noticed the tension on his brow, his lips pressed in a thin line. He uttered no sound at all, and Shinra scowled when he failed to reply. Zack almost jumped when a fist collided hard with the surface of President Shinra's desk.

"Answer me, _Sephiroth_," he snarled. "I will not tolerate this insubordination from you."

There was a long pause before Sephiroth finally spoke. "No," he said quietly.

""No,'" Shinra repeated. "No, you will not give me an explanation?"

Sephiroth promptly shook his head. "That is not what I meant, Sir."

"Then elaborate."

"…I am unable to provide you with an explanation for my behavior."

"Oh?" Shinra said as he leaned back into his chair. "And why is that?"

Zack could see the tension pouring off of his lover in waves, and he wanted so much to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. He watched Sephiroth gloved fist tremble at his side. He hoped this would be over soon, but most importantly, he wondered why the President had asked that he be present was well when it seemed like all he was doing was reprimanding Sephiroth.

"I cannot justify my behavior, Mr. President," Sephiroth answered. "I had no just cause to disobey the trainer you assigned to me."

"Then why have you?"

Sephiroth said nothing. After a few tense moments, the President growled.

"Whatever your reasons may have been to behave as you have, I will not accept any further problems out of you. Do you understand?"

The silver-haired man nodded.

"Good," Shinra said with a nod, then he paused briefly before continuing. "However, seeing as how you have refused to cooperate with your current trainer, we will have to assign you a new one.

Sephiroth looked up at that. "Sir?"

Shinra did not bother to elaborate, instead he finally turned his gaze to Zack, and he almost jumped when the President spoke to him.

"I suppose you are wondering why _you_ are here Mr…?"

"Fair, Sir."

"Indeed," said Shinra with a wave of his hand. "I take you know of the surveillance systems within the company training room, yes?"

Zack nodded.

"Well, I had the pleasure of watching your little coaching routine with our Sephiroth, here." He gestured to the taller man whose gaze remained downcast.

Zack wasn't sure how to respond to the blond man's words. He just nodded almost dumbly at him, showing that he at least acknowledged this. Shinra simply snorted at him.

"Clearly, you are not trainer material," the President said with slight displeasure. "However, it would seem that Sephiroth has responded to your methods well enough. There is no sense in the man having a superior teacher if he refuses to be taught, so…"

Zack waited for him to continue. When he didn't, he was left hanging and confused.

"Sir, I don't understand. What does this have to do with me?"

Shinra snorted louder this time and shook his head. "Quite a shame, you are not to sharp either."

Inwardly, Zack bristled, but he did not let anything show.

"Because Sephiroth refuses to obey the trainer we assigned to him, yet he has cooperated with your methods, I will be giving _you_ the duty of retraining our 'Genral' here."

_Oh, fuck._ Even Sephiroth quickly raised his head upon hearing this. He looked very close to protesting not that Zack wasn't as well.

" Sir, I'm not so sure I'm fit to handle that responsibility."

"Regardless of what you may think, Mr. Fair, because Sephiroth has seemed willing to listen to you, you _will_ handle this responsibility."

Sephiroth stepped forward, intent on protesting; however, Shinra silenced him.

"I will hear nothing further from either of you," he said with finality. "Mr. Fair, you will be overseeing Sephiroth's reconditioning from here on out until we deem him fit to return to active duty. You are both dismissed."

There was nothing either of them could do or say. The two SOLDIER's simply looked at each other before turning and exiting the President's office. They headed back to Sephiroth's apartment in a tense silence. Zack himself was almost approaching a panic; he'd never had any intentions of _training_ Sephiroth, only helping him in a manner he hoped the other would be more comfortable with. He'd hoped that by increasing Sephiroth own confidence—which had likely been dealt a huge blow—he'd be able to return to his training sessions much more at ease, and he'd be much more willing to cooperate.

Now _Zack_ was assigned to be Sephiroth's trainer. _He'd_ have to ensure that Sephiroth was able to return to combat as the efficient warrior he had been before the incident. Sephiroth would have to _obey him_… and Zack knew perfectly well that the man would never _obey_ him.

This would not end well.


End file.
